I have two stories to tell. One of heartache and one of joy I finally found in my life again. Let's go back to 2010, the year which changed my life forever. I had been seeing my boyfriend for nearly 2 years, he was a few years older than me. I was 18 and just finished my leaving certificate. I was about to embark on the biggest journey of my life at the time......college!! I had my accommodation sorted, everything put in place. Then one day my life changed forever. I found out I was pregnant, roughly 5 weeks.
My whole world came crashing down. "How could this happen to me, I mean I'm just about to start college, this cannot be happening".... I contacted my boyfriend and told him but from there on he started acting strange. Disappearing for days on end without so much as a phone call. I felt very alone with nobody to talk to. Family life was tough, one brother was ill and the other was packing his bags for a new life in America. The last thing I was gonna do was tell my mum, she had enough on her plate. From there I made the very quick decision to terminate my pregnancy with Marie Stopes in Manchester. I just couldn't have this baby. I was absolutely terrified and I never felt more alone in the world. A very dear male friend of mine offered to help me with the financial cost of the termination and he also accompanied me on the trip. I had never been so scared in my life. When I got to the clinic I felt so sick. As I handed over the cash, I felt like a piece of dirt, just another statistic. Afterwards when all was done, I felt so confused when I came around. I begged the nurse to let me leave and that I had changed my mind, that I wanted my baby but, it was too late, the baby was gone. I felt so numb as I looked around the recovery room, so many women in the same shoes as me but I had never felt so alone in my life. I just couldn't wait to go home. Looking back, I feel relief but I also carry sadness within my heart. I am relieved as I believe at that time it was the right thing for me to do. But there will always been a sense of sadness in my heart. A part of me that is missing that I can never get back. I suppose looking back I wish someone had intervened, I wish I had more support and maybe things would have been different. But I managed to get through college and finish with a bachelor degree. Two years after the abortion I began suffering from generalised anxiety disorder (GAD) and to this day I believe it is partly a result of what I went through. But let's move on to 2014, the year that changed my life once again. I found myself back in the same position I had been in 4 years previous. I'm not ashamed to admit I had a bit of a fling with a guy whom id known through mutual friends. We used contraception and I thought I would be ok. Fast forward 2 months later where I found myself staring at 2 pink lines on a pregnancy test. My heart jumped, I started to cry. All those familiar feelings came flooding back again. I ran straight to my mum who assured me everything would be ok and that we would get through it. But I was at a complete loss as to what to do. I cried myself to sleep every night. I contacted the dad and he freaked out, he didn't want to know, he denied it was anything to do with him. I was heartbroken. I had just lost my job, I was broke, I had nothing. There was no way I could bring up a baby, or at least that's what I thought. Then one day I was searching the Internet, desperate for support and reassurance. That's when I found Gianna Care. I read some of the stories on their website and found some comfort in knowing other women had been in my position and how they had come through it all with the help and support of Gianna Care. I immediately contacted one of the numbers on the site but I wasn't expecting any reply if I'm being honest. But, within a couple of hours, a lovely lady from Gianna Care contacted me and we just instantly clicked. She helped me see that I had options besides terminating my pregnancy. She gave me hope again. She gave me the strength to see that I could have this baby. The organisation helped me with everything, from organising an ultrasound at my nearest maternity hospital to providing me with baby clothes, maternity clothes, baby equipment, hospital bag etc.. They also provided me with a fork of counsellor assistance by keeping in contact with me on a regular basis. I couldn't believe the support I was receiving. I had a difficult pregnancy, there were a lot of family problems, people arguing all the time. My dad couldn't accept that I was pregnant and practically shunned me my whole pregnancy. I lost most of my 'friends'. But if it wasn't for the lovely lady from Gianna Care supporting me each and every day of my pregnancy, I don't know where I would be today. I went on to have a very healthy bouncing baby boy who is now the center of my world and I can honestly say I don't know what my life would be like without him. I know it's a cliched thing to say and trust me I would have once laughed at reading a statement like that. But it's the truth. He has brought so much joy into my life and into the lives of my family. He has changed things for the better like you couldn't imagine. He is my world and I'd be lost without him. I have built a wonderful friendship with the lovely lady from Gianna Care and we still keep in contact on a regular basis even after I've had my baby. She didn't just walk off. She continues to be a great support in my life and someone I feel I can turn to. So thank you Gianna Care for the wonderful work you do. You've have helped me more than you will ever know. And to any girl out there who finds themselves in a similar position, I hope reading this story will help you find the courage to place your trust in this wonderful organisation and avail of the wonderful supports on offer. It really could change your life.
that I was pregnant, we were at a total loss as to what to do. We were both certain that there was no way for us to keep the baby - we were both far too young, he didn't have a job and we were still living at home with my mother. The house we were living in was filled with mould, and there were already eight people living there, all sharing one bathroom. If there was one thing that we were certain of, it was that we were not ready to have a baby.
I made an appointment at Marie Stopes, hoping to get confirmation of my pregnancy and maybe even some suggestions as to what we could do. The appointment cost €100, and I didn't know how we could afford it. On my way out the door we ran into a woman handing out leaflets for Gianna Care, we thought that we may as well give it a go. We made an appointment and ended up meeting a Gianna Care volunteer, who was a bigger help than anyone else had been so far. She scheduled an appointment for me to get an ultrasound, told me how to go about setting up my account in the Rotunda and she was the first person to actually talk us through all of our options. We settled on adoption - it seemed the best possible solution for everyone. My boyfriend and I spent almost the whole duration of my pregnancy set on the idea of adoption, and we went as far in the process as you possibly can before the baby is born. The Gianna Care volunteer was very supportive and understanding of our predicament, and we had frequent meetings with her to talk about how we were, how I was coping with being pregnant, our frustrations with the Irish adoption system and a myriad of other things, too. She was invaluable to us, as Gianna Care was the only place that we could go and be truly honest about what we felt we should do without receiving any judgement. When the time came and our daughter was born, I realised that I couldn't go through with it. I knew then that there was no way that I could give her up for adoption. I felt terrible explaining that to the adoption agency and the social workers as I almost felt like I owed it to them to complete the process, especially since I had been so pushy with it throughout the last seven months. Nonetheless, we decided to keep our daughter and it is without a doubt one of the best decisions that we've made. Even though we both wanted to keep her, we were ridiculously unprepared. We had no money, no baby clothes and no baby bath, absolutely nothing. If it wasn't for Gianna Care I don't think that I could have gone through with keeping my daughter, just because we were so out of our depth. That didn't matter though, because they gave us baby clothes, blankets, nappies, even a breast pump, just having someone to talk to made things a million times easier. With the support of Gianna Care my boyfriend and I have our own house, a happy and healthy four-and-a-half month old baby and we are confident in our ability to raise her. Gianna Care is a wonderful organisation, and I am sure there are many other people who have found them as indispensable as I have.
I blamed and condemned myself and I presumed everyone else did. I had no one to turn to because my boyfriend at the time wanted me to terminate the pregnancy. All of a sudden I felt so alone. Even though I have always been against abortion, I wanted to terminate the pregnancy because I felt I couldn't support the baby alone. I was crushed, sad, vulnerable and lonely. I was ashamed of the fact that I was bringing a baby into the world that was being rejected, even by his own father. As that was my first pregnancy a part of me wanted to keep the baby but I knew I couldn't do it alone, I needed people to support me.
I went to an abortion clinic in Dublin for a consultation and had my mind set on terminating the baby, even though I knew the decision would hurt me for the rest of my life. It was the easiest way out and I didn't really want to think twice about it.As I was about to enter the clinic I met two of the most important people in my life. I call them my angels, I deeply believe God sent them to comfort me, to show me love. I was so sad and vulnerable that when they gave me their time and attention, I embraced it wholeheartedly. They took me for coffee and listened to me and made me realise that I didn't have go through the pregnancy alone. I felt really comfortable with them and I think it's because I knew they were not judgmental. After the cup of coffee they introduced me to their friend who does the same work as them outside the clinic. They made me realise that there is support and resources out there for people in my situation and most importantly they were ready and willing to give me their friendships. Their friendships mean the world to me. So they informed me about other options without making my decision for me. I ended up not going to the clinic. I went back home and I thought deeply about my decision to terminate the baby once again. I decided to keep the baby since I knew there was support and I made friends whom I knew would be there for me. Unfortunately I lost the baby, but even then my angels were all there for me. The work these ladies do makes all the difference and changes lives. If I had not met the ladies outside the clinic that day, I am sure, I would have made the biggest mistake of my life. I am still friends with these women, they didn't cut contact just because I am not pregnant anymore. I must say, I really respect them for that. Thanks girls.
Something inside me is telling me I am going to be alright now that I have found the courage to talk about my silent grief. I can use all the excuses in the world, the way it was conceived, I was drugged, I was raped there is nothing I can say to take this pain away knowing I killed a helpless defenceless innocent baby because I wasn't strong enough. Nine years of holding on to the shame so afraid of people finding out what I had done. If someone had of sat me down in front of a television and played out the past nine years of my life and told me this is how miserable and hurt you would be, this is what is ahead of you if you do this! I would have never walked through the doors of that clinic.
I could have got help for the rape, there is no help for this and I will carry the regret to my grave, it comes and goes but it will never leave me. When I had the abortion I told myself I don't deserve any help for the rape, the abortion made me feel worse than the rape did. Pam Stenzel herself who was conceived through rape wrote "I did not deserve the death penalty for my father's crime". I was raped and I am so glad abortion is not here in Ireland, the evil and lies hasn't touched our shores and I pray it never will. Something in me also died that day, I wasn't the same person after the abortion, my heart hardened and the light in my soul darkened. Only now am I able to grieve for my child and give her a name "Lilly". I can openly grieve for her with other people who have suffered because of abortion, at Rachel's vineyard some of these women had their abortions 20 years ago and it's still affecting them. In some way Rachel's Vineyard has brought me closure and made me aware I need to grieve for that child I once carried nine years ago. If you ever are faced with this situation my advice is talk to someone first there is other options, stop and think... Sharon
I was 5 weeks pregnant when I found out. I had been seeing a guy called 'John' for a few months. It wasn't serious in his eyes but I did really like him. I hadn't seen him in a few weeks and obviously tried to contact him to even just talk to him but he never even bothered to return a single call or text. I genuinely wanted to have this baby but very early on, it was clear as day that the circumstances weren't in my favour. Looking back, I shouldn't have cared about all the small talk from annoying relatives and nosy people in general. The whole decision was made in a moment of sheer panic which is what I believe happens in most cases. You just panic and you want everything fixed and back to normal. The day I took the test, I looked up clinics, I found one and the very next day I had it booked. When I made the phone call I had to tell the woman what I wanted done, I was so upset making that call and I couldn't get over how little they thought of an abortion or a baby even. Then again, this is all just a business to them. I needed guidance there and then and unfortunately I was naive enough to believe those people that everything would be OK and that I was better off not wasting any more time and getting it done quickly.
I remember it all so clearly. I will never forget it. I attended Marie Stopes Fallowfield in Manchester on Friday morning the 2nd July 2010. The day my life changed forever. If you talk to anyone suffering after an abortion, they will usually talk about their life as before and after the abortion. You are a completely different person to the person you were before that day. It breaks you as a person. It wasn't and never will be the right decision for me. If I had have just reached out and spoken to someone who would have given me sound advice, I would be with my baby now. In the majority of cases, women panic and unfortunately that's what happened to me. I regret it so much. People talk about having regrets over small silly things but I have to forever live with this horrible secret. I cannot talk about it because you are silenced about it and then you have the people who say that you do not have the right to grieve for your child because you wanted this but truth be told in my case I didn't want it. I did not have my mind made up for sure even on the day. I was hoping I would hear from John or that something would happen to be a sign and that I wouldn't have to do it but once you are in that building, you are so scared and I have only read about a few cases where the women had the courage to get up and leave. I miss my child so much and there is no going back now. Nothing I can do will bring her back to me. I have to live with this regret the rest of my life. Immediately following the abortion, my mind was flooded with 'What am I after doing'. That night when I came home, I completely broke down so upset. I didn't stop crying for I don't know how long. You may have read about 'Post abortion syndrome', many Doctors and other people believe that it doesn't exit and that women are not affected following an abortion. It maddens me so much when I hear this. In my case, I was a perfectly normal 22 year old girl and immediately after the abortion, I fell apart. How dare any of them say that it must have been something else and that the abortion didn't cause it. It broke me as a person and I will never be the same girl again. My confidence has been shattered in general. I have bouts of crying, flashbacks of the clinic and procedure. I have tried in the first year to year and a half after it to kill myself. I used to just cry every single night and tell my mother I wanted to die and be with my baby. The rawness I felt and the physical pain from the hurt of it all was so bad. My mother had to physically lie in the bed beside me for months I was that upset and my younger brother would have to check on me every so often during the day just in case. I just wanted to be with my baby. I didn't leave the house for months or close to a year even. I didn't eat for so long that the weight just dropped off me and I was already a size 8 to begin with. The guilt I felt was unreal. I felt I didn't deserve to eat after what I had done. And the crying can be unreal. It just comes over you. On top of it all, nobody can know what you did so relations and family members that don't know think you're gone mad. I cannot say enough how much I have been affected but Rachel's Vineyard will help you if you are suffering. You won't come away from it totally fixed but it is a healthy start. I hope I can reach out to someone. I am very blessed to be expecting my first child since the abortion which will be due in the summer. I couldn't be more lucky because there can be a lot of complications following an abortion but thankfully I have been OK 'physically' so far. Emotionally however, it is hard because this is my second child and I know I did not keep my first one so the guilt and crying has reared its ugly head back into my life again but I am very happy to be having this baby and I am even more happy that I have an amazing boyfriend who is there for me and baby. I was blessed to have been looking through a newspaper where I saw an ad for a place called Rachel's Vineyard which has retreats all throughout the year for men and women affected by abortion. I was so early on after the abortion that I was in such a bad way and needed help so I rang Bernadette Goulding who was and still remains to be absolutely amazing. I cannot describe in words or to anyone as to what she in particular and her team have done for me to help me after the abortion. The retreats are a must for anyone who is suffering be it a few months or years and years after it. Only after attending this did I begin my road to recovery which I am still on and will continue for the rest of my life. I got a great amount of peace from this. And there is also an excellent place called Gianna Care which is in Dublin and they will talk to you too. All I want to add is that I urge anyone who is suffering to please make the call to Rachel's Vineyard Ireland and to get in touch with Lynn or Bernadette. That is your first step. I cannot get across to anyone the true rawness and how horrific abortion is and what in a lot of cases, how bad you feel after it. I am 24 years old. I was a normal 22 year old girl before this happened. It has changed my whole life. And while I am so happy to have since met a great guy and expecting our baby, I would give anything to have that child back. I hope I can help someone who is suffering in silence or maybe someone considering an abortion. Living with the regret of an abortion is horrific and I wouldn't wish it on anyone. I have been so badly affected by it and I just hope I can help someone. Grace x
My story goes back over thirty years when I went to London as a very naive nineteen year old after dating a guy for about eight months. I lost my virginity and became pregnant straight away. I don't really remember being pregnant, it's all such a blur and everything happened so quickly. I don't know how many weeks I was, but I feel it was very early. I remember so little about the events, I think I was in a daze. I never remember thinking baby or even the words abortion or termination. The only clear memories I have are finding out about the pregnancy, then visiting a doctor who told me he would "sort out my little problem for me in a few days".
There were no ultrasound scans then. I remember going to the hospital on my own. I had a general anaesthetic. I remember waking up feeling very sad and alone and somewhat different and not really being aware of what had happened to me. I have no memories of anyone discussing the pregnancy or the procedure with me. Looking back now I can honestly say I really didn't know what was happening to me. I wonder now how something so awful could have happened to me with so little awareness. I know now that it certainly wasn't a rational decision to kill my baby. I don't remember even thinking baby. I remember someone prescribing contraception and then leaving the hospital and walking home alone like a zombie. I don't think I ever talked about it after that I pushed it to the back of my head as if it never happened. I continued to date this boyfriend for about another year or so but it was never mentioned. I think for the next few years I just partied seven nights a week and the abortion was kept tightly stored away as if it never happened. It was around this time that I stopped going to Mass. I met my husband when I 22, it was a very turbulent relationship. I had very low self-esteem and was very sad and unhappy. I told him about the abortion shortly before we married. He was sympathetic but later in our marriage called me an 'abortionist'. I then discovered that I was unable to have children. I was devastated and our marriage suffered badly and finished after only four years. I blamed myself and the abortion and went through many very unhappy painful years after that, though it was still like a dream as if the abortion never really happened to me. Whenever it surfaced it was quickly put back in its box. I have always loved children and only ever wanted to be married with lots of children. Looking back now I know I lost such a huge bulk of my life in sadness and unhappiness because of the abortion. I came back to my faith in recent years because of this and found so much healing from a loving merciful God. A major turning point in my healing was a Rachel's Vineyard post abortion healing retreat. I have travelled a very long painful journey but thank God I am in a very good place now where I have been able to forgive myself through Gods love. Abortion is based on lies and destroys lives, both the baby and the mother.
Not Marie Stopes
I had had my abortion many years before in an NHS hospital, kept it hidden deep inside me and eventually cracked up and when I needed to talk to people about it I was advised to go to BPAS. I had a 40 minute session with a counsellor, then she told me I was to be referred to their chief counsellor. After a week I received a letter advising me to get in touch with The Samaritans (suicide prevention) as the BPAS could not help me. I wrote and asked for my money back but they did not give it back. BPAS did not care that my baby died because I did not have support. I have spoken to women going in and tried to warn them about what happens, but these women often seem stressed and unable to see that this is a unique situation and that a baby's life is in the balance. (I do not blame them for their inability to see as I was also blinded by the fear and lack of support) However this blindness makes a nonsense of the "choice" mantra that is so beloved around this issue. It is heartbreaking. Casey
I went there yesterday. I'm quite far along in the pregnancy and have been conflicted as to what I want to do. The lady who booked my appointment over the phone, who was lovely, suggested counselling to help me talk through my options.
The clinic was very busy, so a lot of people were waiting a long time but the receptionist said the counsellor wasn't there yet and she call her. I was 10 mins early for the appointment. 20 mins later the counsellor waltzes in. In the room she asked me why I was there - to talk about my options. I then filled in the background story with her and she sniggered! I'm very emotionally distressed at the moment and was crying heavily. She didn't have any tissues and offered me the roll of paper towel that they cover the examination bed with. She seemed more preoccupied with telling me that the tissue was stuck to my face than discussing my situation. The counsellor did not ask me at any time what I felt my options were. She did not ask much or discuss any options with me. All she really said was you need to make a decision and then said we'd run out of time. I was supposed to have 30 mins but she only gave me 20 mins as she was 10 mins late. I know counsellors aren't there to make a decision for you but I thought speaking to a neutral source might have been better just to help me feel I was going in the right direction for me. There was no reassurances about anything. I am booked in for this week for an abortion but I just don't know what to do. There were so any girls there waiting to get abortions. They have no privacy or support. As I was leaving there was a girl leaving who'd just had one. She was crying, had no one with her and no member of staff with her. I suppose you just need to be sure in your own mind (or as a friend said - make a decision and you can convince yourself later it was the right choice) and then cut yourself off from the whole experience. The admin staff were very caring, and the nurse was very nice but I just can't get over that counsellor laughing yes, my life would be funny if it wasn't me having to live it. Anyway, don't bother with the counselling there, it'll do more harm than good
Hi. I am Laura. I have been looking for a site to post my story to stop other women going through what I am going through. I found out that I was pregnant just after Christmas. I was 7 weeks pregnant and it was a big shock as I have two children already, a boy and a girl and was not planning anymore. We were very careful so we discussed it and decided that we would end the pregnancy as we couldn't afford another child and wouldn't be able to give it everything that it needed.
It was a very hard choice to make and I regret it now. We attended the Marie Stopes clinic on the 18 January. They didn't really tell us what would happen on the phone so on the day we were quite nervous. We got there at 8am and were seen after about 20 minutes. I was told my partner could join me throughout the process, they sent me up on my own and said that he could come up once I had spoken to the nurse which was not the case. I was taken into a room where they take my details and scanned me and she asked me a lot of questions. I was asking what would happen throughout the process she kept saying that she would explain that in a minute but didn't answer my questions. I was so scared and she just didn't care. She gave me one tablet and told me that it stops the pregnancy hormones. Once I took it I regretted it, but she hadn't asked me before I took it if I was sure it was what I wanted. Sometimes pregnancy makes your head a little confused but she wasn't bothered about that as was plain to see. She was all talk when it came to the fee so I had to take that tablet and return 6 hours after. When I returned she didn't ask if I was ok at all, she just gave me warm water and said I had to take these 4 tablets and put them on the two sides of my mouth to let them dissolve. She sent me into the waiting room with these in my mouth and told me to keep rubbing my gums to help them dissolve. There was another girl there who was doing the same as me and I thought oh my God this feels so bad I couldn't even have my partner in this room and she is making me do this here but I just did it and then she came back after 15 minutes and asked if they were dissolved. I said a little and she told me swallow them so I looked and was thinking hold on aren't they meant to be dissolved but i thought she knows best. Before I went home she told me that I would experience heavy bleeding and clots within an hour and I was to get home as quick as I could. She said if I got sick within the hour then to ring them back as there can be tissue left inside afterwards and they had an aftercare clinic if I needed it. AS NONE OF THIS WAS THE TRUTH I got home and was sick straight way which I thought wasn't right. I rang and was told this was OK. I did bleed and clot and thought that that was it basically. I still was getting morning sickness a week after and felt really unwell so I rang and told them, they said that if it doesn't go away within two weeks to ring back. I knew it wasn't right when that night I started to clot again and was getting sick many times. Again that night I rang the aftercare clinic and they said they thought that I was passing the pregnancy. She said it can take up to a week to pass, although I was told it would take an hour to 48 hours. I got them to make me an appointment for a scan and I attended the clinic not knowing what I was about to be told. I told her my story and she scanned me and said that all the pregnancy was still there but there was no heartbeat. At this moment I feel apart as I already regretted what I had done and to know what was inside me just made me feel like committing suicide. She said that she was sorry and me and my partner asked how has this happened. No one had told me that this could happen, she said it happens to 1 in 200 women which I was not informed of. Then she said you need a D&C which I had to go to the opposite side of town for, I refused and asked if she could do it there, she said that they couldn't. All they were bothered about was taking my money and afterwards they didn't care, didn't care how I was feeling. They just told me that I needed the D&C done before two weeks, otherwise i was at risk of infection. I told her that I didn't have the money to get there. She said that she would listen to the phone consultation and if they hadn't informed me of this then they could help with the cost. I hadn't heard anything and by this time I rang my doctor and explained what had happened. As I had talked to my doctor about the abortion before, she helped me get the hospital to perform a D&C and she was horrified about what had happened. The hospital was so supportive and helpful, they knew how upset I was and how guilty I felt about what I had done. I know I didn't deserve the support as it was my choice but I was so mistreated and misguided at Marie Stopes, they told me a different thing every time I spoke to them and they didn't care about me or my health, just money that was all. I want to stop any girl or woman going through this because it isn't an easy choice to make. It is so hard on your emotions. Do not use this clinic as what I am going through is horrific and traumatic. I will never forget this and will need to see a counsellor because I keep tormenting myself and what was still inside me for nearly two weeks. It's not something you want to go through so please do your research. Sorry for the long message, I just want girls to know that it's not that simple and this clinic doesn't care about you or your feelings. Thanks for reading this and please don't judge. Laura
I was given the 'Gianna Care' leaflet as I went in for my appointment with Marie Stopes. I was going ahead with the abortion, there was no way I could keep the baby. I had two children already, both had different fathers and this baby's father said he did not want anything to do with me, so abortion was the only logical answer.
I booked the appointment and was to head to England in 4 weeks, enough time to get the money together. In the meantime, I was all over the place and needed someone to talk to, so I rang Gianna Care. I met two of the girls in their office, it was a cold, miserable November day, Christmas was around the corner and I was pregnant, it was a really horrible time for me. Somehow, sitting in the Gianna Care office drinking tea and the girls telling me of their lives, how happy they both were even though their lives weren't easy, I felt a ray of hope. Over the next few weeks I would meet up with the girls for cups of tea and to talk. They made me realise I was blessed already to have two children and what difference would another make? Yes, it would be hard but not impossible, nothing is impossible, if God puts you into a situation He will certainly help you through it. The girls reassured me that I would not be alone, that they were here for me and they would help me with whatever I needed.ï¿½ As the days drew nearer to the appointment I began to feel sick inside, a horrible feeling of knowing I was about to do something wrong, I had grown close to the girls and knew they would support me even if I went through with the abortion but things didn't seem right.ï¿½So with the money I had for the abortion I went out and bought all the Christmas stuff myself and the children would need and decided to keep the baby. Over the course of my pregnancy the girls at Gianna Care were with me every step of the way, calling me, dropping over to my house, making sure I was OK.ï¿½As the birth drew closer I began to worry, I didn't have much money how would I manage? Again, the girls from Gianna Care stepped up to the mark, true to their word that they would help me with whatever I needed helping with. They went out and bought me what I needed for my baby.ï¿½ï¿½ I was worried about the birth and how I would actually cope with three kids but the girls reassured me that I would be OK and that they were with me every step of the way. I was in their prayers and that was a great comfort to me, when you know someone is praying for you, you know you will be OK. I went into labour and delivered a beautiful healthy baby girl. I am so happy I decided not to go ahead with the abortion - my life is really wonderful now. Having my daughter opened my life up to things which I would not have had if I had had the abortion. My life would have stayed the same and I would not have grown into being a responsible mother, I would have been eaten up with guilt and God only knows where I would be now. When you choose a path in life you are opened up to its wonders. I now have a beautiful home for myself and three children. We are so happy and the children love their new sister. Yes, at times it is tough but with friends like the girls I have met through Gianna Care you take the tough times with a pinch of salt and know that they will pass.ï¿½ When a woman is pregnant it is a joyous celebration, but for some it is a nightmare and it shouldn't be that way. If only we see past all our own fears and the ï¿½what ifs and buts' we would see that we are pregnant for a reason, that reason is to bring life into this world. What does everyone wish for in life? To be happy. Giving birth to new life brings happiness, taking away a life brings sadness. My baby brought me happiness and I was sure that having a baby would bring disaster, poverty and struggles but it didn't. I wish every woman who is contemplating having an abortion would see that they baby they are carrying will bring them a whole new world, a life better than the one they have already and happier than they could even realise. Remember that you are pregnant for a reason, one reason and that is to give life, not to take it away. I am truly grateful from the bottom of my heart for Gianna Care. A year on and Gianna Care are still here by my side. Please try do what is right. x
I know that the topic is difficult and controversial, but the idea of abortion crossed my mind when I found out that I was pregnant. But God is so powerful and He acts through others. I was in the depths of despair, I found refuge in the words and hugs of three Irish women. They did not want to know who I was or what I had done, they just wanted to save me and my baby. I am so moved when I remember their kindness, it was such a difficult decision.
I had nowhere to go, no money to pay my rent, or buy food. I was in another country, cold and despair consumed my soul. When I least expected it, they extended their hands, treated me as a daughter, took care of me and my psychological health, they were angels sent by God, they saved me and they saved my son's life. I experienced more love from them than I have ever experienced in my life! I want to tell my story and share that Nicolas my son is my prince! I want the world to know, I want other mothers to have the courage to become mothers. My Nicolas is a warrior who came to this world with absolute certainty to transform my life, I am grateful to God for giving me permission to be a mother and I am grateful to these three women and to the group they belong to, Gianna Care. Every day they go out in search of mothers who are afraid, who were abandoned by their companions, who do not know what to do with the little being growing inside them. The thought of being a mother takes us by surprise and is something quite frightening, so God chose them as angels to help these mothers who are scared at first! I'm ashamed to admit that I almost opted for abortion, but God was bigger and did see that he was giving me the greatest gift a woman could have, a son!